This blog is about Sherry. I promise to update you all about my amazing wife next time. I didn't go back and review all of my past postings, but I don't think I have used this outlet to vent about too much about anything else, with the exception of the last post about Chelsea. But today was such a day, I feel the need to vent. I hope by the end, this makes sense to people. Those who are close to us, I'm sure will understand.
Everybody has stressful days at work, I know. Today was one for me. Part of my job at the Eugene Hearing and Speech Center is designing our print ads and quarterly newsletters (among many other graphic design projects. ) I had two deadlines today, I am using new software so am I am working in somewhat uncharted waters. I think I met both deadlines okay, although I won't know for sure until I get to work in the morning (if you see and ad for EHSC's Health Fair in the R-G Thursday, that's me :) Right in the middle of trying to get everything done on time I got a call from Chelsea's caseworker who told me that she had run away from school in a very angry mood. She was missing for several hours and I was worried sick. She called me late in the afternoon and took my advice as to what she should do. I went from being scared for her to being proud of her and encouraged that she chose to call me and follow her dad's advice. There is hope after all. I think, for the first time ever, she told me she was "embarrassed" about the way she behaved. That, I hope is progress. She made it back to her temporary foster care home safely. Crisis # 1 resolved.
Brittney started doing volunteer work today at her schools after school care program. She was supposed to be out in front of the school at 5 pm to be picked up by Gayle, Sherry's care provider. I got a phone call from Gayle (again, in the middle of the whole Chelsea ordeal) telling me that she had waited 20 minutes and no sign of Britt. So, for a time both of my girls were missing. Brittney eventually made it home with the help of a friend's mother (thank you Kristen) Crisis # 2 resolved.
When I was home and knew everybody was where they were supposed to be and safe I began to relax a bit. Then right around 8:30 one of our cats, Kali, began to meow in an loud and unusual way, she started scratching her neck aggressively and wouldn't let me touch her. She disappeared under our bed and I was honestly afraid she was going to die there, her behavior was so unusual. I checked on her several times and she barely moved when I poked her with a broom handle.
So, what does this have to do with "Bruce" you may be wondering. Late last month I went to Portland with my sister Kim to see a Bruce Springsteen concert. For many weeks prior and ever since I have often visited his website www.brucespringsteen.net to check out set lists and to watch videos (including one from the Portland show.) His long time keyboardist, Danny Federici, passed away from cancer a few weeks ago. He made one last appearance with the E Street Band about 8 days before the concert I attended. There is a video clip of the band doing "Sandy", one of my favorite songs. I made the mistake of watching it tonight. I soon found myself crying like a baby, tears streaming down my face. It's funny how sometimes it takes something totally separate from your real life to get the the emotions going. I watched the video, watched Bruce Springsteen's face as he looked at his friend, kissed the back of his head at the end of the song. I could tell he knew it would probably the last time he would play music with him. Everything just hit me like a ton of bricks.....especially the situation with Chelsea, the whole day as well, and maybe my damn cat was under the bed dying (she has since come out and seems okay, crisis # 3 resolved).
So, you can blame this long self pity post on Bruce. I miss my daughter. I want things to be perfect, I know they never will be. But we didn't adopt Chelsea to give her to someone else. I want her home, with her family. We have a ways to go, many challenges to meet, but despite the rough day, I have some hope things can be better.
enough for now....I love my wife AND MY GIRLS
Tomorrow, somehow we move forward
Dean
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